Single sin

I'll probably regret getting into this can of worms but here goes. Jollyblogger has a post up entitled Can singleness be a sin?. It chronicles the brouhaha over Al Mohler's assertion that some people do remain single for sinful reasons. Here are some of my thoughts on the whole thing.

Can singleness be a sin? No more so than staying in bed half the day, eating a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream in one sitting, or not answering the phone when someone you really don't want to talk to calls. These things in and of themselves aren't really good or bad but our reasons for doing them most certainly can be.

Given the hot button topic that singleness is in Christian circles (and our obsession with marriage even though we don't seem to be any better at it than non-Christians) I think it would have been a bit more prudent to say that some of the reasons that some people are single are sinful (it seems as if this was the point that Mr. Mohler was trying to make but other people's presuppositions keep getting in the way). Just as some of the reasons I stay in bed half the day, eat a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, or not answer the phone can be sinful. Given that humans are sinful in nature it really shouldn't come as a big surprise that we have sinful motives for doing or not doing things. In which case getting married can also be sinful if your motives aren't right.

One of my pet peeves with the American Christian sub-culture is that many a Christian acts as if not being married is a fate worse than death. The thinking seems to go that at least when you're dead you have God's companionship but while you still walk this earth you're all alone (despite the fact that you have friends, family, co-workers, fellow church members, and God with you). American society's obsession with finding that one true love, that perfect soulmate, has infected the church. As a married woman let me tell you right now, there ain't nothin' perfect this side of eternity so save yourself a lot of heartache and trouble and just go for a regular old imperfect human being. They're a lot more interesting than a perfect anything anyway.

I'm working my way up to saying that even if there may be some circumstances where people are single because of sinful actions people, women in particular, need to stop thinking of singleness as some evil curse. We may all desire to be married but we need to realise that sometimes God has not chosen it for us. I don't remember a commandment saying, "Thou shalt get married." And no I don't think the command for creation to be fruitful and multiply means that every Christian should get married and have lots of kids.

Right about now I'm sure someone is getting ready to write me off because, "Hey you're married you don't know what it's like to be single. You're living the good life!" And that attitude right there is part of the problem. Stop holding up married life as the holy grail of Christendom. In my opinion any life God gives you is a good life because he has given you the opportunity to have an intimate relationship with him. I think it's pretty insulting to God to go around acting as if the gift he has given you is some kind of curse.

Not so long ago when I was single I got tired of watching other single Christian women bemoan their plight of singleness. They just must not know how to be single I thought. I decided that I would show the world how to do it right and be the happiest most fulfilled single Christian woman the world had ever seen. Less than one month shy of one year later I was married. (No ladies this is not the formula for how to get God to give you a husband. It is just my personal experience.)

Since I never got to test my theory I issue this challenge to all single Christian women who despair over being single (I'll address what I think about single Christian men in another post I guess because what I want to say doesn't seem to have worked it's way into this one), quit acting like being single is some awful thing you have to suffer through before God will give you a husband. Enjoy the gift that God has given you here and now. Make all of your married friends jealous by enjoying the life God gave you!


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