Black Women Marrying Other Than Black Men

Cross posted at Say Anything: Reader Blogs.

In her recent post, Black Talk Radio, Marrying White, and Natural Allies La Shawn Barber blogged about this AP article, More Black Women Consider 'Dating Out': 'Could Mr. Right Be White?' More Black Women Follow Stars' Lead, Consider 'Dating Out'. The article on the changing relationship habits of black women features links to blogs such as Black Female Interracial Marriage: E-Zine on black women and interracial marriage options. I had visited this blog once before after reading about it in another post by La Shawn. I was, and still am, a bit puzzled that someone (and apparently several someones) would dedicate an entire blog to offering encouragement to black women who form relationships with non-black men.

With responses like this, Growing Jungle Fever Among Black Women, it is perhaps a little less puzzling. As I read this particular blog reaction (and the comments) to the AP article the phrase "hot ghetto mess" ran through my mind like a naked two year old streaking to get some attention (yeah we're in that particular phase at our house and we hope she goes back to keeping her clothes on before the cold season starts). Now that I think about it, that could serve as a pretty fair description of the post as well.

Anyway, I'm already married (and hubby is still kicking my butt at Facebook scrabble and I haven't gotten any other potentially easier marks to take me up on a game yet) so the discussion is merely a passing curiosity to me (while I wait for hubby to make his next move). I don't like repeating myself so this is about all I'm going to say about this matter. You can check it out for yourself.

Update: My comment on the discussion at Say Anything sans typo.

So maybe I have just one more thing to say about this and then it's back to scrabble. Comments such as this
Perhaps if black women began voting on the behavior of black men with their love and affection, the black men will shape up
carry the implicit assumption that black women ought just to marry black men. There are better and far more important characteristics to consider when choosing a mate than race.

Also, when some begin to complain that discussions about black women marrying other than black men cast black men in a poor light this line that a friend of mine uses on her teenagers comes to mind, "It's not about you." That usually stops their whining and she sends them off to do whatever it is they were supposed to be doing in the first place. Take that for whatever it is worth to you.


  1. I'm back again visiting your blog after a few weeks of absence. I had noticed you hadn't posted in a long while and thought perhaps the blog was no longer in use. I'm glad to see you do still post here. I enjoy reading your thoughts. I too, am a black woman married to a white man. Lately there seems to be A LOT of attention drawn to the black woman dating out of her race. Almost as if society is seening this as a trend or fad of sort. It really makes no sense to me. What are your thoughts on that?

  2. Hey Samantha!

    This particular short quote of yours is dead on wrt the subject at hand (and about a lot of other subjects):

    "It's not about you."

    Because for a lot of black people who are rabidly opposed to interracial romantic relationships that's the *only* person it's about. (See the last commenter in the video going on about the "pure" black race.)

  3. Ana, I was just stuck in my usual summer rut. I'm in the middle of making dinner now so I can't say much else. Maybe later.

  4. About that YouTube video, "pure blood" indeed.

    About society seeming to be waking up to the fact that black women don't always marry black men, slow news week? I know why people get all hot and bothered about it with America's racial baggage and all. I just don't know why those same people think they have a say about who complete strangers can and can not marry.

  5. I am a natural black woman with an afro and medium tone, and I am engaged to a white man I met in college. I sick of the self-hate BS. I love my blackness, and am proud to be a black woman. As an educated and business woman, other men take more of an interest in me, and it was like that in college. I am glad to see more media oulets focusing on this issue. We as black women should not be afraid to accept love how ever it comes! A good man, is a good man. We in our 20's and 30's are not going to be lone!

    Please visit my You Tube page dedicated to Black Women's Interracial Love and Sexuality


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